Monday, January 8, 2018

What is it?

How did the farmer know a tornado had passed by? Because his livestock were dead and his home was gone. It's not a joke. Tornados are nothing to laugh at.

The Greatest Joke Since Texas was Mexico

A spanish magician prepared to disappear. He said he would do it on the count of three. He said "uno, dos..." and then vanished without a tres.

The Greatest Joke Since the Fish Grew Legs

There are two fish sitting in a tank. One of them yells "How do you drive this thing!?"

Radical Vacation

So, for my winter break I celebrated christmas. My gifts were a pair of socks with a picture of a squid on them and the video game "Overwatch." On the 26th we went down to Berkeley to visit some family and we stayed there until friday. The break brought us close to but not quite to my birthday, which is on January the 10th. It will be a holy day of celebration when I conquer the world and become God-Emperor of mankind.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Trogdor's Halloween

I had a very exciting Halloween this year. One might even call it extremely exciting. You see, where most children were dressing up as fairies or zombies or Dilbert from the popular comic of the same name, I was staying at home. Doing my science homework. I had so much fun. I'm not really sure if I'm still comfortable trick or treating, so I think I'd only do it with friends, but I didn't have any plans this time around. I regret not trick or treating a little bit, but I don't really care that much. I don't usually make a big deal about holidays. My only regret is that I wasn't the one handing out candy - I would give everybody in the group normal candy except for one, who would get a toothbrush. Merry Christmas, children.

Friday, October 13, 2017

RIP Views

So, it has come to my attention that literally no one reads this blog. I mean it. These posts get zero views. I'm talking to myself, here. I feel like I'm going insane.

Crusade

There are a lot of bad people out there. You know who aren't bad people? Anyone who got chosen to be Pope. So we should do what they say 'cause they're smart and morally right, right? Right. So we need another crusade. Come on. Just one more. The final one, we can hold Jerusalem this time. Transportation won't be an issue. You got this. I'm begging you, Francis. You're a good guy, I know you'll make the right call on this one. You don't even have to call it a crusade. I think you call it peacekeeping, nowadays. So go ahead. Keep the peace.