Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Trogdor's Halloween

I had a very exciting Halloween this year. One might even call it extremely exciting. You see, where most children were dressing up as fairies or zombies or Dilbert from the popular comic of the same name, I was staying at home. Doing my science homework. I had so much fun. I'm not really sure if I'm still comfortable trick or treating, so I think I'd only do it with friends, but I didn't have any plans this time around. I regret not trick or treating a little bit, but I don't really care that much. I don't usually make a big deal about holidays. My only regret is that I wasn't the one handing out candy - I would give everybody in the group normal candy except for one, who would get a toothbrush. Merry Christmas, children.

Friday, October 13, 2017

RIP Views

So, it has come to my attention that literally no one reads this blog. I mean it. These posts get zero views. I'm talking to myself, here. I feel like I'm going insane.

Crusade

There are a lot of bad people out there. You know who aren't bad people? Anyone who got chosen to be Pope. So we should do what they say 'cause they're smart and morally right, right? Right. So we need another crusade. Come on. Just one more. The final one, we can hold Jerusalem this time. Transportation won't be an issue. You got this. I'm begging you, Francis. You're a good guy, I know you'll make the right call on this one. You don't even have to call it a crusade. I think you call it peacekeeping, nowadays. So go ahead. Keep the peace.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Trogdor's Veldt Questions

    My parents have never denied me the things I wanted most, because I feel like the things I want most are all pretty reasonable to get. Mostly if they say no it's like "Oh well, whatever."
    If the rooms in my house became sensitive to thoughts and feelings, it would probably seem like the house was haunted. I might move out because that would be creepy. Alternatively, I would see if they had other powers and use their supernatural abilities to take over the world.
    I think parents with the perspective "Nothing's too good for our kids!" are spoiling them. Sure, there's nothing wrong with giving your kids most of what they want, but you've got to be reasonable about what your child can and can't have. It doesn't have to be a problem, but a lot of parents are pretty irrational about it.
   Veldt is open, uncultivated country or grassland in southern Africa. It is usually classified by altitude into highveld, middleveld, and lowveld.

Monday, October 2, 2017

The Greatest Joke Since Sliced Bread

A man is walking through the zoo, when he looks into the tiger cage and sees a slice of buttered toast. He walks over to the zookeeper and asks her why they don't take it out. "We'd like to, sir," The Zookeeper says, "But it's bread in captivity."

Should Adoptions be Kept Open for Children? AKA Kids Don't Need Parents

So, I've been hearing things about kids who think all adoptions should be open because they want to know who their parents were. For some parents, they put their kids up for adoption because they don't want to have to deal with a kid. For many, the reminder may be painful, or just something they don't want to deal with. There's no reason why some nosy brat should dig into their affairs. It affects the parents far more than it does the child - his real parents are his adopted parents, they're the ones who raised him. Of course, if the parents want it to be open I have no troubles with that, but if they don't then it should be entirely their decision. Kids these days are too weak anyway, with their "mobile telephones." When I was a kid we didn't have telephones. We had to use rocks. You couldn't call someone with them. We had to throw them at each other. Mostly at me. I think that's why I have so much self loathing. Anyway, this is Trogdor the Burninator, signing off.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Moustaches of Maximum Manliness

Moustaches go in and out of fashion frequently. It's so easy to do them wrong, and so hard to do them right. I think the real reason they keep coming back is that they represent toughness and manliness. It's a representation of maturity, of adulthood, and of your dedication to Hulkamania. As soon as your moustache reaches its peak, though, your friends tell you it looks dumb and you shave it off because you don't understand its true meaning - if you were worthy of one, you wouldn't be bothered by your friends mocking you about it. Moustaches weed out the weak. 
Image result for epic moustache